Well, this is bad.

So, apparently we lost Emperor Antoku, the sacred treasures, my honorable father, and countless good soldiers earlier today. I no longer care if I die on this day, I will find and destroy Yoshitsune, no matter the cost.

I wish I knew what he looked like. Ah, screw it, surely one of his men knows. If not, I'll just kill them all just to be sure. I'm about to don my armor now, and I don't know if I'll be able to post again after this, depending on whether or not I can finally kill that coward Yoshitsune. 

I'm grabbing a huge quiver of arrows too. Time to flee, weaklings, I won't stop until Yoshitsune is dead, and anyone who faces my wrath faces vengeance incarnate.

This may very well be farewell, loyal readers. It's been great. But I've wasted too much time writing this post already, the battle is nearly upon me.

Until next time!

Its been a while, sorry

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, something horrible happened.

I finally got a chance to take down Yoshitsune at a battle last week, but that chump's retainers were more cunning than their moronic master and shielded him with their bodies against my barrage of arrows. Whatever, I still killed a bunch of them, even if I didn't manage to get Yoshitsune. Still, thats not the worst thing that happened...

So I nailed Tsuginobu and he was definitely down for the count, and my page Kikuo... well, he decided to run up and take Tsuginobu's head for me. I didn't quite see what happened, but someone blasted Kikuo off his feet with an arrow that ran right through him...

I grabbed him as soon as I could and threw him in the boat, but there was nothing anyone could do. He died right in my arms that day, and I've been having trouble coming to terms with it. He was only 18 years old, and he meant a lot to me.

I'll get you Yoshitsune, you coward, if its the last thing I do!

Wow, screw you Yoshitsune

So there I was, chillin' in my room, when all of the sudden EVERYTHING is on fire. None of the guards saw anything from the front, so apparently he either figured out how to fly or somehow climbed down the sheer cliff behind our fort. Either way, that was some crap.

Anyway, I grabbed Usuguro and booked it for Yashima over in Sanuki. Screw that noise! I don't want anything to do with this wizardry.

Brother, come on dude.

So they needed me up in the mountains, apparently there's been some trouble with the Genji and a chump named Yoshitsune. I'll go, I'll go any day of the week. A man who seeks comfort seeks death, I'm ready and willing at any time to be sent in to danger, at least you'll know that an enemy in one area will be completely destroyed.

But seriously, just after I finished setting up our camps in the hills, my moron brother brings his wife over. I don't think he understood just what sort of danger we're looking at here. If the Genji come down these cliffs, theres no way that you'll be able to get an arrow in time, and if my warriors care as little as my brother does, we'll have no chance of even grabbing our swords. Man he makes me angry sometimes.

HAHAHA!

hahahahahahahaa!!!!

So check this out, right: My reinforcements hadn't even arrived yet when the enemy just up and surrendered the camp and split for the four directions! Didn't end up getting my hands on Michinobu or his two stooges from Bungo, but screw it!

Is there nobody my equal? Hahaha! Yeah right!

Apparently the nobles back in Fukuhara are throwing a feast in my honor! PARTY TIME!!

Sick of all these cowards

Ughhhhh that was a nightmare.

That Michinobu coward found some more cowards by the names of Usuki no Jiro Koretaka and Okata no Saburo Koreyoshi from Bungo, grabbed over two thousand men, then set up a serious strongpoint over at the Imagi stronghold. Are you kidding me right now guys? Do we have a single ally in this country?

Anyway, I had to get more riders to deal with those stubborn bastards. There was seriously no helping it, I had to call in reinforcements. You cant take out an army of two-thousand men with just three-thousand riders without taking some serious casualties. So I sent a runner over to my honorable father in Fukuhara, and didn't want to take any chances, so I called for at least fifty thousand more riders. Overkill? Lets just say I didn't want another Yoshinori, if you catch my meaning.

Anyway, the riders should be arriving any time now, so I can finally kill these cowards. Maybe there will even be a warrior my equal in their camp somewhere, who knows?

Another day, another victory

So I caught up to with Tadayasu and Tadakage near Fukei. Yes, I know I was too late to stop them from joining forces, but it didn't matter. We smashed them hard and sent them straight to the underworld in short order. Not Tadayasu and Tadakage, those two cowards turned tail and fled to the capital before the battle was over. No, I meant all of their retainers and men. I nabbed 200 heads for myself, strung em up on the walls, then headed home. I don't have the strength to assault the capital just yet, and my honorable father has requested my presence at Fukuhara anyway.

I'll update again once I get over there!

Man it's been a long couple weeks

Would you believe how many of our so-called "allies" don't want to help us in the slightest? First it was some chumps from Awa and Sanuki, then it was Michinobu, now its Ama no Rokuro Tadakage! This punk was spying for the Genji, then finally turned his coat, grabbed two giant boats full of supplies, and tore off for who-knows-where.

Of course, I chased after him. Seriously he took a TON of stuff, and, oh right, he's a coward. So I grabbed some boats and confronted him near Nishi-no-miya. Man, he had no idea what he was in for, you should have seen how fast he turned those boats around when we started our assault haha! But even still, he managed to escape to Fukei up in Izumi.

I just heard that Tadayasu is coming to back up Tadakage. I have to go now, we'll have to hurry if we're going to catch 'em before they can join their forces.

Things went better than expected

So you guys know I was on my way to discipline Michinobu for not coming when we called earlier. Well, apparently they saw me coming, because Michinobu took off for his uncle's place in over in Aki. As soon as I found out about that, I took off as fast as I could after that coward. So I chased him through Minoshima up in Bingo, then laid siege to him and his turncloak uncle in their Nuta stronghold. Pretty standard battle, and despite being huge cowards, they put up a decent fight.

Not to toot my own horn, but I still captured their fort and forced a surrender for Michinobu's uncle Jiro in less than one whole day. He basically said to me that he felt like victory was impossible! Haha, no victory is impossible for me, so that's not exactly a feeling that I can empathize with!

So anyway, Michinobu fled on horseback with about fifty riders, which is seriously like a tenth of what he started with lol. But my man Tamekazu and around two-hundred of his riders surrounded them like a pack of wolves and cut down almost all of them, but SOMEHOW managed to let Michinobu escape. Seriously Tamekazu? We need to have a talk when you get back, friend.

Fortunately, Tamekazu sent his son Yoshinori after them, and that dude is a seriously good archer. I wont say he's as good as me, but neither do I give out praise very often, so take that for what you will. Anyway, Tamekazu's boy dropped five of the last seven riders on the spot, then took out Michinobu's retainer. But alas, he was still but a boy, and he let the cowardly Michinobu sneak up behind him and lost his head for the trouble. We didn't even catch the bastard, he grabbed his retainer and booked it over to Iyo, last I heard.

Well, in the end, we still got Nuta no Jiro for our troubles, and killed a bunch of turncoats, so I can't say it was a total waste. Still, sucks that Tamekazu's son got killed, that boy could shoot.

Well, that feels better!

Hahahaha! YES! Nothing feels better than a successful battle! How successful you ask? Well, would you consider personally collecting 130 heads from enemy archers successful? Haha!

I'm not going to say it was easy, but they definitely didn't expect to be up against someone like me. One of the guys my boys captured was saying that they were just going to fire an arrow or two at us then flee, just enough to prove to the Genji that they had turned their coats. I think he thought that giving me information like that would stay my hand or something lol! As if I care what their intentions were! Betrayers and cowards deserve a dog's death.

Oh right, so here's what happened: Basically, those guys I mentioned in my last post sailed up and shot some arrows at us. I was all like "KILL THEM ALL!!", and I grabbed a couple of my best men and a couple boats and chased those cowards all the way to Fukura Port, over in Awaji. I think they knew I was pissed, they didn't want to get anywhere near us haha!

Right, so we chase them all the way over there, and so I made land and basically just attacked the hell out of that port for basically the whole day. I know for sure we got Yoshitsugi during the fighting, and I know I personally hit Yoshihisa later on. I think he got away and slit his belly though, the coward.

Oh, I did manage to get the names of every single one of the attackers and sent the whole thing over to Fukuhara with my honorable father. So there's that too.

Tomorrow we're setting off to deal with yet more cowards. This time, its some guy named Kawano no Shiro Michinobu from Iyo who failed to answer the righteous call of the Heike to secure the throne of our rightful Emperor, His Majesty Antoku. They'll never see me coming!

For now, PARTY TIME~!

COWARDS!

ARGH! GET THIS: We were just betrayed by some lowly provincial officials from Awa and Sanuki, right, AND THEY STOLE A BUNCH OF EQUIPMENT AND MEN! ARGHHHHHH

YESTERDAY WE HELP THEM FEED OUR HORSES AND TODAY THEY DECIDE TO THROW IN WITH THE FREAKIN' GENJI?! I'll give them something to water their horses with! I wonder how well they'll fare on THE BLOOD OF THOSE WHO DARE BETRAY US????

That's it. There's no way I'm taking this sitting down. My pages are assembling my armor and stringing my bow as I type this. My honorable father says they are coming now to attack us and prove their loyalty to the cowardly Genji. THIS WILL NOT STAND!

I WILL KILL THEM ALL!

OK, seriously guys

I've just spent an entire year on this gods-forsaken beach, and I'm sick of it. I seriously feel like I'm trapped in a cage made entirely of ice over here. Ugh, and can we talk about New Years? How shameful is it that we had our freakin' Emperor present and we couldn't even hold a banquet in His honor? Don't even get me started on the Obeisances to the Four Directions. And who was in charge of the first three days of the ceremonies? Hasn't anyone around here heard of starting the new year off right? The freakin' villagers didn't even play music for us! They should feel insanely honored that our Emperor is camped out on their doorsteps! And yet, not a single note was to be heard.

So there was that, and now it's spring. It may have gotten warmer, but I still feel like I'm slowly being choked to death by this never ending purgatory. I cant stress enough how sick I am of these nobles nattering on and on about how things used to be in the capital. It's not that I don't also miss the capital, or even my seat back in Noto, but always talking about it while we just sit here all day doing nothing is going to drive me into a rage. And I can only watch so many kickball tournaments in a row...

Well, I hear that Yoritomo-dono is planning on sending out a contingent of riders to shut up that cousin of his. Great! But when is he actually going to do it? All these endless strategy meetings are killing me as surely as an arrow to the heart. Is there such a thing as deliberating to death?

Well, that's all for now. Hopefully I'll have better news in the future.

PS: I made a Twitter account! Follow me now: @NotoGovernor

About me!

I am the Governor of the Noto Province, Taira no Noritsune. I am unrivaled in Archery, and you can consider me the equivalent of one thousand men in battle. It is death for any foe to enter the range of my bow, and those cowardly Genji dogs know this fact well. I'm a member of the Taira clan, who are attempting to defend the rights of our true Emperor, Antoku, against the cowardly son of Go-Shirakawa, false-Emperor Mochihito.

Cowards, all of them! I'd like to see if the heavens will protect their so-called "Emperor" from my arrows!